no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
