that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
soo... how was my night?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
