I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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