what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
