At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
