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google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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