just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
