Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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