My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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