I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
