I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
