She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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