ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Small penises have feelings too.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
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