I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
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