No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize