So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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