You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
