How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
