Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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