Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
