Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
