i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
