Where is the hickey?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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