so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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