Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
