this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
