Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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