a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
