But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
