I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
