Already got asked if we're dating
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
