This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
