Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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