I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Princesses don't give blow jobs
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
