she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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