What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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