What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
