I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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