You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
