Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
