PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
