well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
