I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
