Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
