apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
