Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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