I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
