Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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