you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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