How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
