Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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