sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i dont even know how to be here
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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