I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
