I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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