it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
