So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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