He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
