Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
