It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
