Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
even my farts smell like vagina
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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