oh god the rape fog is back!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
