somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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