i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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