similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
