she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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